How many times have you heard or read this in Big Media the past few days? “Don’t panic. It’s just a correction.” Since it’s, “As seen on TV!” it must be good advice, right?

“10% is an official correction,” the big media pundits tell you. Apparently, the 10% Rule was passed by Congress, signed by the President, and ratified by the UN, making it the “official” worldwide standard for a correction. Same with 20% rule for “official” bear market. These are laws passed by all world governments and happily obeyed by Big Media pundits, who know all about  “official” and unofficial. When their back scratching buds in the Washington-Wall Street Big Media echo chamber agree, it’s official!

If Cramer or Kelly or Maria said it, then by God, Virginia, it must be so! And if it’s the Wall Street Journal, that, my friends, is the Word. Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as an “Official Correction!” They come around every so often with bags full of gifts, correcting the minor “excesses” of the recent past, just so you can sleep better and even average down!

Here’s something else you’ll read in Big Media. “This market is crazy.” Both bulls and bears love that one. Bears use it all the time on the way up. Bulls repeat it on the way down. What it means is that the market isn’t behaving as they think it should. But here’s a little secret.  Markets are neither crazy nor sane. They merely measure and reflect liquidity. Depending on our particular point of view, that may seem to be “crazy.” What it really means is that, “Hey buddy, look in the mirror. You’re wrong.” Both bulls and bears may fight the trend for a long, long time. Now, that’s crazy.

Here are two “official” rules that I learned as a kid.