The Tesla ICO

Speaking of ICOs, last week something amazing, breathtaking, and revolutionary happened. We had another ICO… the very first of its kind.

An Initial Car Offering.

Pundits said it was an unveiling of the Tesla semi truck, but we now all know it was actually a thinly veiled capital raise.

Like many good things in life, this also began with foreplay.

Customers and shareholders are like women ovens – they need to be warmed up first.

So a few weeks before launching the ICO, the oven was dialled up:

Amazingly, I woke up this morning and, though having watched the unveiling, I looked around me and couldn’t notice anything different (though my dog had this strange look in his eyes).

My mind was surprisingly still in my skull and had not been sent into an alternate dimension, which was disappointing as I was quite excited by the prospects of that.

Anyway so once the engine was warmed, we were treated to the de-robing of this.

I thought at first I’d missed it. Then I watched it again. And no, I hadn’t.

There was zero explanation of how Tesla would get all the dough to build this creature, where it would build it, and how (given the competition all have existing production plants, positive cashflows, dough in their treasuries, and access to credit markets) Tesla miraculously thinks that by the time it gets there it will have all of these things as well as the technology (that does not yet exist) to pull it off.

But then my nerves were calmed when they offered a warranty on the product. Wait, what? A warranty BEFORE they have a product? Killer!

I guess there’s a first time for everything.

But that wasn’t to be all.

No, then came the real showstopper as Elon went a step further in prostituting promoting Tesla. The fastest sports car in the world. And it may even just fly.

The kid in me did backflips. I sooo want a car that flies. Don’t you?