I think all central bankers should be publicly executed, but I have a special loathing in my pitch-black heart for Haruhiko Kuroda, the governor of the Bank of Japan. Having completely abandoned my “I guess I’ll just stay in cash for the rest of 2015” pledge on Thursday, I was bracing myself for the news tonight.

I nervously watched USD/JPY, and it rocketed higher, turning the ES and NQ green instantly. I thought to myself, “Great, here we go again.” But then this happened:

Want to know what his brilliant plan is? Having the nation’s central bank print up lots of new money and buy ETFs. Read that again. They’re going to print up billions and billions more (well, we’re talking Yen here, so trillions) and buy ETFs. Have we all lost sight of how insane that is? Have we? I haven’t. It’s freaking lunacy.

So given the market’s reaction (at the moment, anyway) the guy looks like an unlubricated vibrator whose C batteries have run out of charge while a frustrated Janet Yellen frantically gets on her dressing gown to make a trip to the CVS for an emergency refill. This debacle seriously couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Of course, I’d much rather see him commit traditional Seppuku on international television, but in lieu of that, his completely failing and making a fool of himself will suffice for the time being. Carry on.